Potty Mouth

My son said his first bad word today.  Why is it so funny when little kids say swear words?!  I know I should be horrified, and, technically I am, but when that word came out, it was all I could do to suppress a serious case of giggles.  Luckily, I was in the other room when I heard it.

So, we have been potty training little Miles for the past month.  It has been singularly one of THE MOST FRUSTRATING EXPERIENCES OF MOTHERHOOD to date.  Miles is a bright, aware, and very analytical, so I thought potty training would be a breeze.  Instead, he simply did not care.  He didnt care if he peed or pooped his pants, treats didn't work, bribes didn't work.  I even tried that intensive three day potty training method, you know, the one where they go naked and you put potties all over your house.  All that did was make want use the toilet only when he was naked.  Grreeeaaaatttt.  Typically with Miles, our parenting theory has been not to force things.  I believe kids learn to do things in their own time.  But I was begining to feel like time was running out.  I started getting that mommy guilt - after all, all of his friends were already potty trained, and Mies was going to be 3 in July.  Also, throw in the fact that Miles is exceptionally big for his age (he's about the size of a three or four year old), it felt ridiculous changing this big boys nasty diapers.

But I actually got a lot of words of encouragement from parents of older children.  Most of what I hear was that many boys train later, like at three or even after three and that one day it will all just click.   So, we kept plugging along, I tried not to stress him out about it.  I tried the reward system (stickers and candy) before he was 2 1/2, so I decided to restart that again about three weeks ago and we started to see some serious progress.  After one week, he was perfectly trained at home (minus naps and bedtime), but would constantly pee his pants while we were out.  However, last week, after his four year old, potty trained cousin came to town for a visit, Miles suddenly became MUCH better at using the potty, even while out.  Part of what he hated was sitting on public potties, so when we are out, he stands to pee, and he is a lot more comfortable doing that.  So, we got him potty trained at home and while out, all within about two weeks.  It felt like a miracle.

Well, yesterday, he was wearing a pair of sweats with no underwear.  He kept saying he had to poop and would go to the toilet, and sit, but nothing was coming out, so he would go back to playing.  Then, he announced his need to poop again and wanted his dad to help him.  So, as the boys are in the bathroom, I hear my husband say "Oh no, Miles you pooped your pants already."  I let out a little smile.  After months of cleaning up dirty poopy underwear, i was kind of glad my husband had to take care of one of those nasty messes (seriously, poopy underwear is literally the worst).  Then I keep hearing my husband say "oh no, oh no."  My husband hasn't been very good at curbing his swearing around Miles, despite my constant reminders, so at this point I'm crossing my fingers that he doesn't start swearing.  Then I hear hubby say "Oh F--"  but he stops short of saying the actually word.  And thats where Miles came in.  He loudly shouted "Oh, Fu*k."  Yes, he said that word.  Literally, a potty mouth.  Oh my God.  I almost stopped breathing.  Yikes, how horrible, right? The F word?!  You don't get any worse than that.  But why couldn't I stop laughing?  At that point I had to go into the bathroom to calm things down, and keep the naughty language at bay.   And I found that my husband was pretty justified in his horror.  I had forgotten to put underwear on under the sweats and that poop was smeared all up and down Miles little butt and legs.  It was a nasty mess.  But the language.  Yikes, the language.  This is something we are clearly going to have to start working on in our family.  I definitely can't send my son to preschool with the F word in his vocabulary.  Especially, in the suburbs!  I'm pretty sure I would be vilified as the worst mother on the planet.  LOL!  So, now that potty training is done, its time for potty mouth training.