This might sound cheesy, actually, it will sound cheesy, but when I was pregnant with Miles, the whole exerience felt magical. I felt amazing, beautiful, strong, and like I was the luckiest woman alive. When Miles finally came, I felt the same way, and let me tell you, he was NOT an easy baby. But my husband and I had so much fun with him. Yes, I was exhausted but I never felt overwhelmed or distressed about the new course my life was taking that I know a lot of new parents struggle with. Looking back, I was annoyingly jubilant during pregnancy and new mommyhood.
Okay, fast forward 3 years later to my current pregnancy, and I feel like I barely recognize that old version of myself. I never thougt it would be possible to have such vastily different pregnancy experiences. Don't misunderstand, I really could not be happier about this baby, epsecially after loosing a pregnancy last summer, I feel beyond blessed that I have a beautiful little girl growing inside of me. But, she is definitely not making this easy on mommy. All those pregnancy symptoms I read about, but never experienced last time, have hit me full force this time. The worst are the exhaustion and hormones. Seriously, what is up with the hormones? I feel like I want to cry about something at least once per day. And the fact that I'm exhausted makes me want to cry more, because I'm frustrated about not being as productive as I would like to be. It is truely a bizaar experience.
So, all I want to say, is to any woman out there I may have judged in the past for not looking perfectly pulled together and feeling energized and excited every single second of the day during pregnancy and motherhood, I apologize. Seriously, I get it. This sh*t can get hard. As a former member of the "I'm Having a Perfect Pregnancy Club," and a current member of the "I Want To Rip Off Anyone's Head Who Looks at Me the Wrong Way Pregnancy Club," I can honestly say that not all pregnancies are created equal. And that's okay. As women, it is our right to feel however we want to feel, because WE ARE GROWING A HUMAN BEING INSDE OF US, and no one knows exactly how that feels for us, except for us.