Of Words & Love
Real Talk. Marriage is tough. I mean, duh, that's not really "real talk" is it, because we already all know that. But it is! Trying to continue an eternal flame through, children, mortgages, career changes, life disappointments....on and on. But, sometimes, you have those flashes, those sparks, that help you realize why sometimes, its all worth holding onto.
Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT believe a woman - or anyone - should find their value, her self actualization, buried with-in the accepting words or actions of a partner. That is the tough work we have to do on our own - everyday, every hour. But, its really kinda awesome if your partner can be there, rooting for you along he way.
Tonight I was having a conversation with my husband about life. About the difficult choices, dreams unrealized, and goals left to pursue. And as we are talking and I am winding through my tales, he says to me "you really have a beautiful mind....Even in your sad stories." Gasp! Then later in the evening, as the conversation meandered through different subjects, we landed on the topic of kids, and me lamenting over my post two children, working mom with no time (or not enough motivation? - after all, there are people who wake up at 5AM and run 5 miles everyday) body. I haven't worked out for several months! I'm feeling super blegh! EEEEKKKK. But he says "I really love you the way you are...I would love you in any body." Gasp again.
Here's the thing. He's my husband. I've probably wanted to strangle him at least once per day in the last 10 years of our marriage. He's not perfect. I'm not perfect. Our marriage is not perfect. Our life is not perfect. But we love each other. And as a mom, I feel like those ideas of love, commitment, respect, and happiness have taken on a whole new meaning. As a mother of a son, i hope that we can raise him to always see the value in a woman's mind, above and beyond her physicality. As the mother of a daughter, i hope she can find someone who finds her mind infinitely more interesting than her body. And because my children are young, I do not yet know of all that they are or all that will become, so I guess i can just generally say, I hope that in their lives, they will have people who love them for them, in their entirety, and that they can put that same type of love back into the world.