I Might Finally Be Ready for 2019

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So look, if memes and hashtags are any indication, I think most people can agree that 2018 was a sh*t show. For me, it was a super shit show.  We lost grandma (my last living grandparent), uncle went through an excruciating medical crisis which he somehow survived and is now deemed a miracle by his hordes of physicians, husband and I separated, kids changed schools, and then, ya know just the day to day of survival.  I worked really hard on myself and the kids all year.  I had to.  Because those events were all insanely difficult transitions for my littles.  So ensuring they had some sense of peace and tranquility was a priority.  And in hindsight, I think keeping all these things going might have driven me a bit crazy.... And then there was the holidays....  Our first holiday season as a separated family and I wanted so badly to roll into it Goop style, with Paltrow Perfection. And this is where I learned that I AM ONLY HUMAN.  A person can only absorb so much before too much is too much.  And I definitely reached my too much limit this winter.  So I had to take a moment to step back and assess what I learned in 2018 and where I wanted to go in 2019, and let that peaceful excitement guide me. Mentally (and physically where possible) stepping away from the chaos. Understanding that perhaps I had made some mistakes but my growth far outweighed the stumbles (and this is a quiet thank you to those in my life who let me stumble but were there after to pick me-up, or pat me in the back, or hold my hand while I picked myself up, or simply didn’t judge).

So yeah, I still needed a bit of January to pull it together.  I didn’t run into 2019 the strong, focused, clear headed, super healthy warrior I thought I was setting myself up to be at the end of 2018.  But that’s ok. I just needed January to get few more wrinkles out....

So here’s to life, and it’s many mistakes and triumphs and obstacles.  And here’s to the dumpster fire of 2018 and January 2019.  I’ve got two weeks to get me a** in gear for the the rest of 2019.  

I’ll see you on the other side.   

Crystal Ahmadi